My personal Facebook page is usually a rant free zone. I post a few, mostly observational, comments a week. In general, I’m an upbeat person and my Facebook posts reflect that. (Here comes the BUT…)
Last week, I ranted about Kim Kardashian:
“Wow. Even NPR is talking about Kim Kardashian. (I thought I had found a Kardashian free zone.) Hitting the off button because I REALLY DON’T CARE!!”
After posting, I felt even worse. Why was I so ruffled by a woman I’d never met? I’d never even seen an episode of her show. Was I personally affected by her impending divorce? No. What I knew about Kim Kardashian came from the snippets I’d seen on morning news shows and photos on the covers of magazines at the supermarket check-out line.
I knew this level of irratation meant one thing – I was supposed to learn something from it.
“Aaarrgh! Noooo! I don’t wanna!” my inner Self screamed. But I had to find out why I saw red every time I heard the Kardashian name. So I got out my journal and did something I never dreamed I’d do – I meditated on the Kardashians.
And sure enough, during meditation, I saw a picture of an angry, snarling creature living deep inside a cave. As the light crept further into the cave, the creature crawled further into the recesses of darkness. It was clear that this creature feared the light and fiercely defended its need to stay hidden. I instinctively knew that this “creature” represented a part of Self I had (literally) not brought into the light yet.
It’s the part of me that loves to be invisible. As a child, “invisible mode” kept me safe in a house made unpredictable by alcoholism. I would disappear into my room for hours, or stay safely in the background and hope no one would notice me (unless I wanted them to, or I was mad, then look out!). I’m not an introvert. I love being with people, but I’ve always shunned flashy clothes, worn minimal jewelry and hated being in the spotlight. As a writer, invisible mode works well when you want to “people watch” (a favorite pastime of mine). On the other hand, having invisibility as your super-power is not the best when you want your writing to get noticed.
Kim Kardashian is the complete opposite of invisible. THAT really ticked off my inner cave-dweller. Then this nugget of wisdom came through during the meditation.
You see Kim Kardashian as your polar opposite. Yet, you are both the same. You cannot have one extreme without the other. Both call out for balance. Once you allow both, balance can be restored.
Seems Kim Kardashian gave me a precious gift. She helped me shine a light on a part of Self that had been long ignored – a small reclusive part of Self seeking compassion. I know now that my rant only expressed the imbalance inside of me. Turns out, that if I can be compassionate with myself, I can be compassionate with Kim Kardashian. AND THAT feels much better than ranting.